A Long Time Coming
by helloimsabrina
Summary: "What is a good father?" Draco's past fills him with doubt in himself as his future is suddenly changed.


AN: Hello! So after years of not writing fanfiction, I took a Harry Potter course in university, and my final writing assignment was - you guessed it - writing fanfic! This is the result of that; as of yet I have not received my grade so this could be wonderful or it could be shit, but I appreciate you reading (and reviewing!) it either way.  
I am not J.K. Rowling, nor will I ever be, but thank God for the fantastic world she's given us.

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A Long Time Coming

 _What is a good father? One who protects, provides? One who is wise, who is always there? One who makes difficult choices, and teaches their child to do the same? One who is strong, loving? And can a man be a good father if his own was not? Is such a man simply destined to repeat the mistakes he learned in his youth?_

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"Pregnant. Draco, I – we're – I'm pregnant."

Draco had barely stepped out of the floo when Astoria announced this, stopping him dead in his tracks. He was late, an apology already on his lips, when his brain processed what he had heard. Draco looked up at where she stood; face unreadable, shoulders squared. He couldn't have misheard her. He felt his heart rate pick up as a second passed, and then another, neither of them moving. His eyes searched hers for a sign of emotion as he finally broke the silence.

"You're pregnant?"

Astoria nodded.

"You – we're having a baby?" He asked, his voice betraying his amazement as he took an involuntary step forward. Astoria nodded again, and at last her face broke into a smile that took over her whole body, and filled the whole room.

"We're having a baby."

Draco couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face and swept Astoria into his arms as hers wrapped around him, holding him tight. And then she was laughing and crying and he might have been too, because after everything they'd been through, after so much darkness and despair, there was finally a ray of light.

* * *

Now, however, reality set in as Draco lay in bed unable to find sleep. Suddenly the comforter grew too heavy, the room turned unbearably hot, and Draco felt his breaths come quick and shallow. Trying not to wake Astoria, he staggered out onto the balcony, taking in deep gulps of autumn air. He looked out into the night for what could have been minutes or hours, lost in thoughts of what he had done during the war and in the year leading up to it, of all that he chose to do to others. Thoughts of the man his father was and the man he'd thought he wanted to be. Thoughts that churned restlessly through his head as he subconsciously rubbed his left forearm, where a scar still marred his skin.

"You're not planning your escape, are you?"

Astoria appeared behind him in the doorway, eyes dancing. Draco turned to face her.

"Oh no, you don't get to run away," she continued. "We have been waiting for this for too long, and there's no way I'm going to be the one to change all the nappies."

She laughed quietly as she approached, and he tried to smile. He saw the mirth in her eyes dim, however, as they flicked to the tension in his shoulders and to his disheveled hair, finally landing on his own.

"Hey," she said softly, taking his hand. "I know you're not actually going to run away."

He swallowed, avoiding her gaze.

"And you're going to be a great father."

Draco inhaled sharply as he pulled his hand from Astoria's. He didn't miss the way her eyes jumped to where his Mark lay hidden as he turned away from her, bracing himself on the railing. Silence reigned for several moments. A cool wind rustled through the trees. Draco let out a ragged breath as he let his shoulders loosen and his head fall forward.

"You don't know that."

Astoria sighed, and out of the corner of his eye Draco saw her place her hands on the railing beside his.

"I know you, Draco Malfoy. I married you," she turned towards him, "and I wouldn't have married someone I thought would make a shit parent."

A laugh escaped him at her bluntness.

"See?" Astoria said. "What makes a good dad? Number one: thinks I'm funny."

Draco's lips tugged upwards, and he spared a glance at his wife.

"Astoria, I…" he took a deep breath, steeling himself. "Are we doing the right thing?"

"Yes." Her immediate answer took him by surprise, and he turned to find her eyes staring at him unflinchingly.

"But I – what I've done, and the judgment our child will have to endure –" Draco made to look away again, but Astoria reached out and held him in place. He found it hard to hold her brilliant stare.

" _Yes._ "

Draco felt his chest seize as he read everything she was trying to say through that word, in her eyes. The weight of the past he carried seemed unbearable under her gaze until he finally released it with the breath he'd been holding, leaning into her touch. Astoria pulled him close as his head fell to her shoulder, and she slowly stroked his back as Draco felt his ragged breaths grow even once more.

"I'm scared too," he heard her murmur at last.

Draco held her tighter.

"I'm scared I won't know how to be a good mum, I'm scared of how my condition might affect the baby, I'm scared of how little time I'll get with our family…" She broke off. "I'm scared of leaving you. And the baby."

Her voice was barely over a whisper. Draco felt her pull away, and her hands reached out to hold his face.

"But I love you," she continued. "And this baby – _our_ baby, will be so loved. We will not raise him as we were raised. We will teach him kindness, and hope, and love, and how to play Quidditch like his dad. Draco," Astoria's voice softened, but her tone remained firm. "you will not be your father."

Draco felt a tear escape him, only for Astoria to wipe it away.

"You said 'him'," Draco noticed suddenly. "I did that too, earlier."

Astoria's eyes widened as she grinned up at him, her hands dropping from his face.

"I guess that's it, then. Unless we say "him" for nine months and then find out it's a girl."

Draco laughed softly, finding that he felt lighter, calmer, with the unintentional chuckle.

"Draco Malfoy, you are going to be a great father," Astoria began. He opened his mouth to interrupt, but stopped himself when she held up a hand. "You are going to be a great father because you are good, and kind, and loving, and strong. You have made mistakes, and you have chosen not to make those mistakes again. You can _keep choosing_ not to make those mistakes. You don't have to be your father. _You choose_."

Draco's vision blurred, but he felt himself smiling as he faced the woman who stole away his breath as she continued.

"One day, when we tell him about our mistakes, he will know that we are not perfect, but that we learned to be stronger, braver, better." Astoria took Draco's hands in her own. "We fought to be better."

Draco watched her eyes fill with tears and, struck by her words, he leaned down and kissed her. He cradled her head with one hand and drew her closer with the other as he felt her arms wrap around him.

"I love you," he said when they drew apart. He leaned his forehead against hers. "And I love our baby."

"I love you too," she replied, and then broke into a smile. "And I love the baby – just so long as he has your eyes."

Draco laughed, the sound rumbling through his body, and Astoria grinned back.

And standing there with Astoria and their unborn child, both broken yet healing, Draco recognized the quiet joy in her face, which he knew was mirrored in his own. The joy that was, perhaps, a long time coming.

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AN: So there it is, my first new story in three years! (Does this mean there's still hope TLAT will get updated?)  
Thanks for reading, and please leave your thoughts in the reviews!

Glad to be back,

Sabrina


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